Inspired by the Big City, Maddie Rusenko Gained the Confidence to Curate Her Own Joie de Vivre in Washington DC
Desk Note 17: two striped-sweater fans sit down for a conversation on big-city living & independence
City living isn’t for the faint of heart.
Gosh, that sounds like something you’d hear on one of those farmers-only dating app commercials from 2007. Let me try again.
If you can make it in a city, you can make it anywhere.
Okay, now I sound like Alicia Keys.
It is cliche, but it’s true.
For all of its convenience, city living presents plenty of challenges. The choice to live in a city is one you make accepting both aspects of it, knowingly or unknowingly. I’ve heard stories of people moving to New York City with nothing but a suitcase, unemployed, and uncertain of a lot. They just knew they’d figure things out once they got there. Others move from one city to another for work or a relationship. Some people are born and raised in big cities.
My road to big city living started in my hometown of Pensacola, meandered up to Tuscaloosa, and then over to Atlanta before I flew one-way to New York. In all those destinations, I couldn’t help but think about when I would move to NYC. Where was I headed next? This anxiety around the future forced me to ground myself and think about who I was, who I wanted to be, and how I could find contentment wherever I was. My own joie de vivre if you will.
In hindsight, I’m so thankful that I have lived in different cities throughout my twenties. Each place has taught me something new about myself.
It was in Tuscaloosa (ironically that was smaller than my Florida hometown), where I met Maddie Rusenko at the University of Alabama. Both of us, alumni now, were fangirling over La Ligne sweaters in our Instagram DMs recently and decided to catch up one Sunday afternoon. We realized we’d both grown a lot personally while living in big cities after college. Maddie currently lives in Washington D.C. where she attends George Mason Law School.
Take it from here, Maddie…
Oh hi there! It’s me, Maddie. I couldn’t be more excited to be collaborating on a blog post this month.
I have never done anything quite like this before. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, but never quite worked up the courage to put these feelings into a creative writing endeavor. I have enjoyed the opportunity to take an introspective look at this past year through the lens of city inspiration.
Reader… indulge with me for a second as I flashback to my little European summer of 2019 (and trust me, there is a point to the story beyond just the wanderlust).
I spent a weekend in Paris eating croissants, drinking red wine, and partaking in cafe culture. Then I continued the week in the Netherlands, walking canals, sipping espresso, and daydreaming. I completely fell head over heels in love with the Netherlands and Paris. Still, to this day, they are my absolute favorite places on planet Earth.
It’s cliche, I knowwwwww. I’m sorry but I am that girl. I can’t understand how anyone isn’t obsessed with the vibrancy of Paris and Amsterdam’s city life. The trains and bicycle infrastructure were like transit heaven. It makes so much more sense than whatever we have going on in America.
During those daily ah-ha moments in Europe, I saw a real glimpse of what I wanted from a city.
The city seemed like the only place where I could finally assume the version of myself I always wanted to be. You know, the version that had been an amalgamation of the coolest girls I had ever seen from every corner of the world. I was confident that eventually what I had envisioned for myself and my then-boyfriend would come true if I could just get to the big city.
And so when I graduated from undergrad, I traded Tuscaloosa for Washington, D.C.
DC is where it would finally all click for me. Or so I thought…
In the last 12 months, I got out of a long-term relationship, started law school, and have been living in a big city allllll by myself.
Who was I now at 24 starting my first year of law school, alone? I had constructed a whole plan for the next five years and suddenly that was gone. I felt lost.
And so for the past year, I've been working to figure out who I was (and am) as an adult outside the context of that relationship. And what brings me joy! Luckily, this city and these years here have taught me many lessons.
The first lesson the city taught me was similar to Ethan’s experience in Atlanta. I had to learn to be content where I was in DC, even if it was the place where my dreams just came crashing down.
So, now, from both of us…
We’ve turned our discussion into a part interview, part advice column to share for this week’s desk note. Our hope is that we all walk away with a little more joie de vivre and confidence to be ourselves in the big city.
-ECF & MGR
On Being Inspired by a City and Its Style
ECF: Slowly over time, we begin to define ourselves and our style. I would look at what people wore in big cities even though I lived in a small town, because that’s what interested me most. Have you done the same?
MGR: Style, like most things in life, is like a muscle you have to exercise. You have to work to make your Pinterest board a reality. You keep evolving and refining yourself with each phase (read: era, babe, ERA) of life.
In DC, people aren’t the most stylish. There, I said it.
I’m sorry DC, but there is just nothing cute about the look that is going on. So in the absence of DC-style inspo, I started looking at Paris, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Berlin, Madrid, and Milan.
ECF: Ooo tell me some of your faves from those cities! I definitely look to Paris for style inspiration.
MGR: Anyone who says they don’t want the Parisienne je ne sais quoi is a liar. Cue Miranda Priestly: everyone wants to be us. And that “us” is the chic Parisienne. Just a couple of trips on the Paris Metro and you’ll have inspiration for months. It will have you thinking that maybe smoking is cool and that the @CigInfluencer Instagram account might be on to something.
And I think in terms of the Scandi cities, there’s a degree of play. Every outfit has a component of indulgence. Fun lines, big sleeves, and bright colors are done in a really comfortable, tasteful way. Just take a look at the SS24 Ganni, Rotate Birger Christensen, and Cecilie Bahnsen.
Obviously, Milan makes my list as well. I’m always looking through the lens of @thesartorialist. I don’t think there is any place that does outerwear like Milan…or knitwear…or slip dresses…or the most perfectly tailored trousers. I mean come on.
ECF: It’s fascinating how different urban fabrics and the built environment can be a source of inspiration in our character, how we behave, and what we decide to wear when we get dressed in the morning. I want people to know that you don’t have to conform to the social norms of the culture or city you currently live in. It’s okay to do/be/act/dress in a way that is authentic to you, regardless of what everyone else in that city does.
MGR: Right! Above all else, I want to feel like me. So Washington D.C., get ready for this Scandi-inspired gal.
On Doing Something New (and Realizing When it is Actually Something Old in Disguise)
MGR: This whole year has been me repeating old mistakes that I thought I had learned but ended up repeating.
ECF: It’s funny how some “new” things are actually not-so-great old habits in disguise!
MGR: And it’s funny how you can see it coming, too. Like, I remember so many times telling myself, “hey… remember this situation? let’s not do that again.”
I’ll give myself some grace because I do think that perhaps the overall lesson was the same. Like Edison, I just had to try to solve it in another way, but ultimately, I once again learned what doesn’t work.
My “doesn’t work" list is very long these days!
ECF: What lessons did you learn from your “doesn’t work” list?
MGR: Sooo many lessons in love, friendship, and academics that I thought I confronted in college (even in high school) circled back around. Here are the three main takeaways:
Lesson 1: Friends and the “Frenaissance”
Invest in good friends, old and new.
This past year has been about reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. Sounds about the same as that Girl Scout jingle. But the message is solid gold. Pun absolutely intended.
Admittedly, I am not the best at keeping up with all my friends evenly. I tend to blame it on distance, but, if I’m being honest, it’s just hard to balance it all. This year I endeavored to devote so much time into my friendships. A frenaissance if you will. A rebirth of friendship.
I’ll be forever grateful for how they helped me love where I am. From concerts, pasta nights, endless voice memos, dinner dates, and coffee runs, my friends have been by my side. I have a little tiny circle of the most special people that I absolutely cherish.
Lesson 2: The Academic Hole
Recognize the horrible pattern coming your way and immediately go to professors and academic advisors for help.
The fall semesters always come with some sort of distractions that derail my focus. Do you ever feel the same? I let all the external noise cloud my brain.
One minute I'm reading about Palsgraf and the next minute my mind runs away.
The graduate school environment constantly has you feeling subpar. Like you're never doing enough, smart enough, or even worthy of being there. This negative feedback loop coupled with distraction leads to diminished confidence and in my case, average performance.
Connecting with these academic resources can help put you on the right track. I finally feel like a good student again and that confidence makes a huge difference.
Lesson 3: Right but Ultimately Wrong
Trust your gut when something doesn’t seem to feel right.
I promised myself I was not going to date for at least three years after my break up. I was just starting school. I wanted to be by myself. I wanted no distractions. Also, a small part of me, the nihilist, didn’t see any point. I had already experienced “true love,” so I couldn’t wrap my head around it ever happening again.
But it’s funny how once you swear off dating, someone unexpected comes into your life.
Slowly then all at once, it felt right. I had this pitter-patter in my heart and for a long time, I denied that something was wrong. In the end, the would’ve could’ve situation-ship fizzled out. For one reason or another, it wasn’t the right time or place no matter how much time I spent wishing it would work.
Oh, yearning. It’s overhyped (and 2,500 miles away from D.C.)
…And that’s where I leave off for now.
The chance to co-write this desk note has been a great opportunity to review the last year and take stock of where I am now. Even though I joke with friends and family that last year has been one of the worst, I realize that in the moments of pain and lesson-learning, there has also been such bliss. The joie de vivre can often be overcast by the tougher moments, but I would have missed them if not for the opportunity to sit down and write.
I hope that by sharing a small piece of my story with Ethan and all of you big-city readers, I've inspired you to learn and grow a little bit more into who you want to become.
ECF: Thank you so much for sharing with us, Maddie!
Morning, Noon, Night
Inspired by the title of one of my favorite coffee table books, each desk note ends with something interesting for you to see, do, read, and/or wear as told through the lens of a day’s journey from sunrise to sunset. This week I asked Maddie for her essentials.
MORNING – For me, it's Moka Pot coffee in the mornings -- always, always iced. As soon as my eyes are open I need coffee immediately. I'll usually sip on that while I Dyson my hair. I'm growing it out so it has become quite a 45-minute undertaking and coffee is necessary to get me through the ordeal.
NOON – I treat myself every weekend to a nice mani while watching F1, a Bravo show, or a podcast. The perfect slow afternoon! Right now, I am listening to Smartless with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnet — it is always a guaranteed laugh (the episodes with Matthew McConaughey and Dana Carvey had me in absolute stitches); however, I am also addicted to listening to updates on the SBF trial; I worked on the FTX investigation this summer and I became obsessed.
NIGHT – If the clock says 1pm or 7pm, I am going to have a little treat. Because I’m not a complete animal, my afternoon treat is usually a bit of Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate. If I’m trying to be “good” it will also be my nighttime treat with a cup of Yogi Egyptian Licorice tea. On indulgent weekends, I will help myself to a hefty helping of Jeni’s ice cream. If I don’t have their Green Mint Chip flavor in the immediate future, I will scream into the abyss.
Written by Ethan Floyd and Maddie Rusenko. Edited by Ethan Floyd and Maddie Rusenko. Images courtesy of Maddie Rusenko.
One Last Personal Note
How is it almost Halloween weekend? Time has flown by and so has this blog. It started as a summer challenge to myself to write more. It’s turned into a passion project where I fine-tune my editing skills and tell city stories. And it truly means the world to me every time someone reads an article. If you’re enjoying my notes From the Desk of ECF, please help me spread the word. Would you consider sharing this with one friend or colleague this week?
Thank you for your support! Happy reading! ECF