On Loving Your Age & Wearing Whatever You Want
Desk Note 02
As the adage goes “A woman can do anything a man can do, and she can do it in heels.”
I remember hearing my mom echo these sentiments as she and my dad each owned their small businesses while raising kids. I spent some downtime this week in Boston, originally visiting for Mother’s Day weekend (see my first desk note about the train ride there), and then stayed to celebrate my mom’s birthday. She stepped out in a fuchsia pink dress ready for her birthday dinner. Naturally, we ordered the “Life in Pink” cocktail, and after a few sips, the conversation shifted to Mom’s pink dress. Over an hour had passed as we candidly began questioning societal stereotypes:
What do we stereotype an older person should or should not wear?
More importantly, why do we care?
What is our idea of what a twenty-something should wear?
Again, why do we care?
Why is it considered grandma-ish when an older woman wears a cardigan, but not when a young person does? (Hello TikTok boys and girls wearing cardigans with denim cut-offs and crop tops…)
Do we unconsciously assign an article of clothing an “age range” in the same way the fashion industry has long cast clothing as either exclusively for men or women?
& if we are actively working on removing the boundaries that gender stereotypes cast onto mere pieces of fabric sewn together, isn’t it time we also open our minds and remove the assumptions, and judgments, of what people are allowed to wear based on their age?
Personally, I remember reading the December 2020 issue of Vogue, featuring Harry Styles on the cover in a skirt and blazer. The article, written by Hamish Bowles, provoked me to question every notion of gender-separate clothing I had seen in stores, online, in campaigns, on runways, and in cities. It inspired me to reassess my own masculine and feminine qualities and shop for my closet based on the color/fabric/occasion of a garment, not the section of the store it was hanging in. I smiled when I walked into Nili Lotan’s store in TriBeCa as I was greeted with a warm welcome and a brief explanation that everything had been designed unisex. The point my mom made as we sipped our drinks was this: she felt the same way about age-based stereotypes as I did about gender-based stereotypes for clothing.
Of course, it should be a matter of one’s personal style/taste and not what society constructs for us. And indeed, there is a way to still be appropriately dressed for different levels of casual or formal events while expressing one’s personality and piecing outfits together quite literally in a timeless (read ageless) way. I believe my mom has already figured it out.
My mom feels confident and feels like herself in her pink dress. She’s entering this next year of life not looking back at “the good days when she was younger and wore _____,” nor stressing over “how to reverse her age so she can wear _______.” She is simply existing, being herself, and freeing herself from the bounds of age.
Over petite plates & more drinks at the coastal-inspired brasserie, Coquette, we cheered to her getting better with age, and by the end of the night, we thought of a modification to the famous phrase.
Perhaps, it should go something like this…
“An older woman can do anything a younger woman can do, but with wisdom, grace, and, still, in heels.”
After all, age is just a number. I love you, Mom…Happy Birthday! -E
MORNING, NOON, NIGHT – inspired by the title of one of my favorite coffee table books, each of my desk notes will end with something interesting for you to see, do, read, and wear through the lens of a day’s journey from sunrise to sunset.
MORNING – make your own coffee/latte/cappuccino at home every day this week! (Note to self…yes, I can do it!)
NOON – get outside and go near the water. Whether your city is on the bay, has a river running through downtown, or is oceanfront, take time to stare at the reflection of the sun over the water. It’s the perfect refresher after a productive morning.
NIGHT – watch Queen Charlotte on Netflix. For fans of Shonda Rhimes' Bridgerton series, join me in binge-watching her newest release. This time it’s a love story about the Queen herself.
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I hope you enjoy following along as we discuss all things travel, cities & croissants. It’s time for blogging to have its renaissance. Happy reading!
-Ethan
She is the MOST gorgeous and is working that dress!!